After all the rhetoric, the hype, the fear mongering, the screaming, the Greta’s, the cloud and atmospheric seeding – Bill Gates said yesterday, “The climate is not the end of the planet, the planet is going to be fine. The world will not be able to meet its agreed-upon goal to limit future warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius (2.7 degrees Fahrenheit) above pre-industrial temperatures, but it won’t hit the 3-degree Celsius mark either”.
WHAT the fark? Don’t worry – be happy!’
Apparently, Bill Gates has completely flipped his moniker and decided its really not that bad. So we can stop calling every catastrophic event a climate change disaster and use critical thinking methodologies?
Not to be outdone, another nonscientist has provided her astute opinion, “The climate crisis has propelled a massive economic shift,” Janet Yellen pronounced excitedly as she fumed that she wasn’t allowed to hike interest rates again. As such Yellen has decided that banks and institutions should only support those investing in zero carbon clean energy – like Bezos and Bloomberg. Does that mean Exxon, Chevron, BP etc… will no longer have access to bank funds and loans?
Bill Gates almost seemed to have landed on earth, only to have old lady Yellen unwind the “don’t worry – Be Happy” slogan.
Prince William was also there to offer is nonscientific knowledge and unearned money – 5 awards worth $1.2 million each to companies with new ways to ‘save the planet’. WAIT – didn’t Bill Gates just say we don’t need to save the planet because it is just fine? These three were palsing around New York having flown in on their private jets and driving entourages of gas guzzling limos to stay at the Plaza and decide what to do about planet Earth.
Of course this all comes within earshot of Zelenskyy on the UN stage demanding more billions for Ukraine’s climate change needs – while simultaneously asking for more weapons and gas guzzling F-16’s in order to meet the requirement that the war continue until 2030. György told him so.
The Looney Tunes are on full exhibit as nonscientist, non inventor or anything – Bill Gates is called to the AI summit to help lawyer Schumer determine how best to make sure AI is not used ‘inappropriately’. As in destroy the world. Of course Schumer is well versed in nothing AI, yet somehow was selected to Chair the panel of Stakeholders in Control; Musk, Zuckerberg, Pinjai whatever his name is… amongst other nonentity humans.
In true Kindergarten classic, Schumer asked everyone to raise their hands and agree that the US Government should officially be the overseer of all things AI. And like obedient kindergarteners – they all raised their hands. Inside sources claim Zuckerberg raised his hand higher and waved it around for dramatic effect before they agreed to sit on their hands for the remainder of the Summit and zip their lips.
At the last minute, Musk’s 10 children decided they wanted to join daddy and came crashing through the doors running in circles around the group until Musk told them to take turns sitting on his lap. While so doing, one child pointed to Zuckerberg and whispered something to Musk at which point he burst out laughing, “Yes R2DTwo, he looks like a lizard brain”.
Because AI is tipity top secret, the meeting was held behind closed doors and no one was allowed to eavesdrop except WAPO and CNN. They alone were chosen to be the official leakers. A responsibility they take very seriously.
You see, the US Government and it’s allies have determined that most everything must be contained within the vacuum ‘tipity top secret’ because that makes them feel bigger and stronger than the peasants they lord over. Surely, if any secret were to be revealed, the peasants would all die of horror, their brains exploding like the Road Runner, leaving no one to pick up the garbage and build yachts and jets for the Masters. So the peasants must be protected from reality and live in a hole while given a feeding tube of information. Say Ommmmmm.
Meanwhile, Pop Francis has decided he will personally look into the allegations that a Priest who has been dead for a decade, might have committed rape or sexual assault on a number of boys. He’ll make a decision in 2050 when the climate suddenly stops acting so dang erratic! You see, climate rattles brains and makes them unusable. And according to all the nonscientists this erraticism will come to a screeching halt in 27 years, only to be met with another ice age.
Ready Set GO!
Alex Soros who stands a solid 5’2” was in attendance given all his honorary degrees make him so super dooper smartmatic. He squeaked, “I am much much more evil than my daddy! So you better do what I say or you are suicided!”. Zuckerberg stuck out his tongue. Musk laughed. Bloomberg rolled his eyes. Gyorgy snored in a seat in the back, fast asleep after a hard day of eating. But that’s why Bloomberg likes his picture taken with Alex, because Bloomberg is 5’ 3” and looks like a veritable giant with his shoe lifts in comparison. An optical allusion.
Soooo, the UN Climate Summit is coming to an end, but don’t you worry your pretty head, because they have one every month going forward. Always in a different location. Always requiring a couple cases of caviar, rum, vodka, scotch, Bourbon, Champagne, Brandy, and Port – flown in from Portugal on a private jet. And always clearing out the most expensive hotel available so that no riff-raff can rub their soiled hands on the walls, doors, or furniture and possibly cause a disease outbreak.
Surely, Doctor Bill has a cure somewhere in his twenty four travel trunks?
Of course, wives are never permitted to attend these events because the prostitutes don’t want interference. And frankly, neither do the male attendees who are just looking for a break from their abject boredom while they concoct another form of terror to eradicate unwanted peasants.
Que Sera Sera – Whatever May Be, May Be – The Future’s Not Ours To See – Que Sera Sera – What Will Be, Will Be!