The love a child has for a parent is so amazingly resilient; it is a beacon of forgiveness. I have witnessed so many relationships completely torn and yet, sometimes with the slightest of changes, no matter the age, the entire relationship can be refused, reignited, as though the past never happened. It should be a message to us all that we learn from our children, despite all our worldly wisdom. It could serve our world and our society well.
A child is willing to lift the veil on a drop of kindness. The power the parent wields is immense, it has the ability to create a wondrous life filled with compassion, love, giving, and it has the power to fill a wondrous life with bitterness, desolation and hate.
We are the creators of our children’s psyche. They are our responsibility – good, bad or indifferent. To reject that responsibility, is to reject yourself. A child’s psyche is directly correlated to family first – friends and society – second. If a family chooses to have their child raised by society, that is the family choice and their responsibility. I believe in a mother raising her child…(ren).
If a child cries for help, then it is first to the parents to come to the plate. No one else. Friends should be second. The warmth that a family can embrace is beyond anything else. It is unbounded.
I speak because I experience.
Whether it is politically correct or not doesn’t matter when it becomes – personal. The power that a father has with his boys is absolute. The power a mother has with her daughters is absolute. This does not negate the power of mothers and sons and daughters and fathers, it simply is a truism. It is an ingrained genetic. It is the natural course as it should be.
I want to be father and mother to my sons, but I can’t. I can only be what I am, even in the age of feminism, it is the natural way of life. And so I cry for what I cannot be.
So many miracles I’ve learned from my children, I cannot convey. But a powerful one just slapped me in the face, and as a parent, a mom, I have to be a voice.
Our kids, like us, are bound to screw up. Such is life. But if we don’t remember our own failings, we can tend to be too harsh on theirs. It is the Biblical ‘log in thine eye’ syndrome that we sometimes fail to observe when it is closest to us – our family. It is much easier when pointing an arthritic finger at someone we don’t even know. But when it comes to family, the potential for a reverberation is too scary and thus sometimes we shy away.
I have always harped on the notion that we must travel 3000+ miles away to help and evangelize the poor, when the poor are a ten minute drive down the road. And sometimes, the poor are family.
If my son falls, I take it personally. In my opinion, it is my responsibility and reflects on what I have taught him. In my opinion, that is the role of a parent. It isn’t easy. But then, we, each of us, made this choice, and must now accept the consequences. And sometimes, those consequences don’t go according to plan, or wish, and we can NOT drop the ball.
And so I say, with all sincerity, to all my boys, I am so sorry for all the things I have done that were wrong, self absorbed, and without heart that may have contributed or led to your own heart-aches. Please forgive me and please, learn from my mistakes, as I did from my mother ( my dad was perfect!!!).
I love you from the depths of my heart. Find sustenance in that – please…